Parents, please pay attention and comment

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I am back home visiting my oh-so-loving mother. Ever since I was a child, or teenager she has always told me, “I had you for your father”, or “This is why we don’t get along, you act just like your father”. Stop, rewind. Hello to some of my parents, I just want to make this known. I am a young one, but I am also old enough to know when enough is enough. Now, not all parents need this, but some do. Have you ever heard yourself say this (Or anything similar) to your child, “I just don’t get you anymore”, “You never talk to me about anything, or the famous “What happened to my little girl/boy?” Sound familiar? It might have and from first hand experience let me tell you guys something, the child maybe isn’t the problem all the time. Check this out, Question, When was the last time you and your child had a one-on-one conversation and you felt like you really got to know them better. Example, problems that they are having in school or even with themselves. Let me tell you, when I was growing up I had a lot going on. During the time period of about 8-18, the world is starting to become more realistic and certain things begin to change. Our body’s begin to develop, I remember I saw a girl in the 4th grade with breasts as big as my mothers (38 DD) and here I am with these pistachio shells. Everyone starts to become more judgmental of what we wear and what we look like. Who is cute and who isn’t. It becomes stressful and with these experiences, we start to shape who we are. Some…become bad people and others become different percentages of good. Some, of course, are higher than others, but sometimes the reason for that is, because they don’t have the proper parental guidance of love and the authority to put their foot up their children behinds to teach them right and wrong. Being a little more in tune with my youth, I will give you some advice on these problems, please tell me if it works. A possible solution to the first question, “I just don’t get you anymore” usually is associated when your teen is about 13-16 and I say 16 is a little pushing it, but all teenagers are different and mature faster than others, but during that time period, it is really sensitive. We are just beginning to develop our own styles and if we are going to become a leader or fall into the crowd. Like myself, I would be that kid in a crowd of people with skinny jeans on wearing saggy jogging pants. We all just wanted to fit in, generally and be accepted by anyone. This is why so many kids start to do drugs,  or drink or have sex, etc.  The solution is to aid your child in this process. Even though you may not be fond of the hat she/he wears, don’t let it be something outrageous and provocative, but don’t shut them down either. The second question, “You never talk to me anymore”. Well, I am sure they have tried, but you shut them down and out. My mother picks up her phone in the middle of our conversation. Which triggers the feeling of being unimportant, that you, as the parent, don’t care about how they feel and that they spent most of their morning or even the whole day getting the confidence to talk to their parents about their teenage problems. Another thing is that you may shut them down(The first thing you hear that you don’t approve of), again, you have to listen to their new ideas and be open to them. Remember, this is a new generation.  Let them have a voice! I promise it will be worth it. Just calm down and the last question, “What happened to my little girl/boy” DO NOT SAY THAT, it makes them feel bad. They are already feeling out of the loop from school and other social stress, they need your acceptance the most. I’m sorry, I had to rant today because it really kills me how much my mother does this and it has a giant crack in our relationship and I don’t want the same to happen to you guys. Please, just go fix it. Thank you for reading my dearies. <3 :) Talk to you soon.

2 thoughts on “Parents, please pay attention and comment

  1. I have always said to my 2 sons “No matter what you do, I will always love you unconditionally! I may not like you at times, I may not always like what you do or your behaviour, but I will love you no matter what!” And there have been testing times. And times where I didn’t know what to say except “I’m here when you need me!”. And times where I’ve said “I’ll listen when you need me to, and I’ll try my hardest not to judge.” I have been the bad guy – set boundaries, and let my sons know what/where they are, and that there are consequences for crossing or stretching them. I have tried to let them know there are always consequences for actions, and they have to accept them. I have tried to give a moral compass by which they can live. I have always said it is my job to be a parent, it is their job to be children. And I will love them unconditionally. I am not perfect, and don’t expect it of them (but I do expect their best most of the time. And at nearly 23 and 20, They still like to give/get a cuddle with Dad (and Mum). I know what happened to my little boys – they grew up into wonderful young men. Thank you for a thought provoking post. Keep being wonderful. :-) :heart: back to you.

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